oh dear future husband, lama amat nyampenya

oh, wow. it's been 4 years since the last time i wrote here. reading the old post was such an embarrassment. but isn't it one of the point of having a (online) diary? write in passionately now, laugh about it (years) later. but well ...

anyway, i was just suddenly want to write here. like, telling someone, anyone, about my current life. because i think, my friends must be bored and feel like 'lo-cerita-apa-sih-ga-jelas-ga-penting'. padahal ya ga juga, sih. hehe.

i have a job now. wohoo. finally after, three? four? years of struggling. it's good, i can pay my bills and even have a car. hehehehehe. to think agave even had to pay for my vacation before. the people here are also nice. tapi ya kayak kantor pada umumnya, mau nice juga pasti ada yang nyebelin. so far masih bisa ditoleransi dan di 'ya-udahlah-ya'. aaaannnddd my 'bodo-amat' attitude akhirnya berguna juga. bahkan dicontek. mueheheheh.

yang sekarang belum punya adalah pacar. ahahahaha. i fall in love here, but ya maybe he's not the right guy. not the wrong one but just not the right one. if it's make any sense. oh dear future husband, uda nyampe mana lo? lama amat nyampenya. KZL. (wkwkwkwk)

the struggling to use lo-gw is as hard as using aku-kamu pas awal-awal nyampe sini. meskipun kadang masih suka keceplosan dan agak dilirik orang-orang. bo-do a-mat.

idk. i'll go to bandung this weekend, meeting mardiah after 5 years. wohoo.

xoxo

hi?

I kinda miss writing here but I don't know where to start.

They say just write.

So, here it is.

WRITE.








p.s:
hi, people c:

twice in a row

I love Japan and I got a chance to visit that country without I had to do something. It was Dad who took care of everything and I, yeah, I visited that country effortlessly.

Then Telkom and UPI weren't two of my uni option when I was in high school but since mom didn't approve my wish to take psychology as my major and I still had to go to college, I got those two. Effortlessly.

Those two above are example how I always got something that I want, but not not desperately, effortlessly. I still had something to work to get those but it was just something that, that I did and done. It was just like you run straight to the finish line without any obstacles.

But when I really want something that I really really really want, I never get it. Even if already did my best, worked hard on it, I couldn't get it. I don't know why though.

Is it because I didn't work hard enough?
Is it because it didn't mean for me?
Is it God's way to tell me that He has something bigger for me?

I don't know ...

I got kill twice in a row this week. The announcement of Telkom's recruitment was out yesterday and I didn't pass. And today, as if to complete my death, KGSP (Korean Government Scholarship Program) also announces the result of their scholarship program and you can guess what happen to me.

Crying a little bit yesterday and a little bit  harder today. Yeah. Who won't disappointed?

yeah....

But well, let's keep "Menikmati dan mensyukuri. Alhamdulillah"

/self-hugging/





Ah, yes. Hello btw c:

Alcohol - Kim Jaejoong (JYJ Music Essay)

Intoxicated, like dragging a heavy bag
Standing in front of the entrance, pressing in the key code
But somehow, I cannot recall the key code that I have memorized by heart
Why did I drink so much to the point of being drunk?

Don’t know if you guys have ever done this before?
Don’t want to watch TV, don’t want to play the piano, don’t want to read any books
And don’t want to look at the people walking back and forth in that world beyond my window
I want to hide

In the end, I can only lie on the sofa motionlessly
Have no urge to move, only stare blankly at the cactus

As I was staring at the cactus I suddenly realized I was talking to myself, “Am I feeling a little bit lonely?”
The fate of a cactus is that if the heart of his core have been fiddled with, his life would be shortened
The cactus seems to say to me, “you are lonely, just like me”

Lonely, frustrated, depressed
There’s nowhere I can go to let out my feelings
At that time, the only friend I could find, was alcohol

But this thing
I would definitely despise it tomorrow
However, I think I would nonetheless continue to pursue it 

 

Credits: TVXQBaidu

Trans: princessepiggy @ DBSKnights

Shared by: DBSKnights